Lying to Ourself

In a sense, all of us are liars.

I’m not talking about lying to people, but the more literal meaning of lying to ourselves.

We make up excuses, and go, “Nothing’s wrong with me. I’m perfectly fine.”, “There’s no need to worry about me, really.” – when in fact we are not.

Yeah. Those are the moments/times I’m talking about.

The ones where we like to, have to pretend. Because if we don’t pretend, we would fall apart. And we don’t want to fall apart, because we don’t want to lose control, because if we lose control, we might never be able to pick ourselves up. For that one more time; that again, because it’s just exhausting picking ourselves up after we fall.

It’s never easy, never less difficult each time. Sometimes, it might be more difficult than previous ones, but –

Breaking down and letting go of our emotions completely and utterly, we need it once in awhile. Because in breaking down we find it in ourselves many things – acceptance of the past, maybe, or even the easing of that coil of emotions in us. Or it could just be a cathartic experience, in which you’re just able to let go and not having anything bottled up inside you for once.

Just as there’s no such thing as a perfect person, there’s no such thing as perfect emotional control, only seemingly perfect emotional control.

At one point in life or another, we have to let out the bottled emotions – pain of old memories, haunting moments, fleeting bittersweet periods of life – so that we may just be able to shuffle past that old scar, move on with our lives and actually accept the past.

Instead of just saying, “I know” and making excuses, of continuing that spiral of endlessness.

“You’ve got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you’ve got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.”

– Unknown

“I’m Tired of Pretending.” – A Look into Self-Identity and Self-Worth

You stand in front of a mirror, looking at your reflection.

It’s been a long and tiring day, and you just want to go to bed and sleep it all away. So that your nightmares and troubles and problems don’t bother you. So that you don’t have to think about what’s going on downstairs between your family who’s arguing again, that you don’t have to think about those lackluster grades of yours, that you don’t have to think about Are they really my friends?”

“Or…am I just fooling myself?”

Maybe, you think, they’ve been just pretending all this time.

But then again, maybe you’ve been pretending.

Not being your genuine self all the time.

Not being secure in your identity.

Wanting to hide your imperfections, your flaws.

Because, well – you just want to fit in with everyone, right?

But here’s the kicker – everyone wants to fit in (well, most people anyway).

But you’re just so tired of pretending.

And here’s the cross-road: Should I be myself, or continue doing this?

Well, you know what? BE YOURSELF. Don’t sacrifice who you are for the sake of others, for that “five-seconds-of-fame”, that self-gratification. You are worth so much more than that, than whatever Hollywood or whatsoever has declared “trendy” and “of worth”. You are you – there’s only one of you in this world. No one can ever replace you, not ever. So why let others define you when they don’t know you? Why let them shove you into this box that says, “Oh, look. She/He’s not worth it.”? They don’t even know you. They don’t know how you struggle with your flaws, how you have to fight against constant bullying. They don’t know how hard you had to work to get to where you are, that your family members are at odds with each other.

They don’t know your story, your past. But don’t let your past overwhelm your present.

So maybe you’re flawed, but isn’t that everyone? I’m flawed, too. No one is perfect. Accept the flaws, know that you have them and continue to be who you are. If you aren’t happy with your flaws, work on them, minimize them. Will it be easy? No. It’ll definitely be a struggle since you would have to go up against the part of you who’s so used to pretending, used to hiding everything away.

But will it be worth it? Yes. Because by doing so, you’d be accepting who you are fully, flaws and all. You’d be more comfortable and secure in your own skin. If you want to continuously improve, to always be a better person, work on it.

Often enough, the most difficult fights in our lives would be against ourselves.

Because they would be us against our thoughts, our mind, our logic…

To fight to not give in to fear.

To fight to not give up on yourself.

But it’s not impossible to win those fights. It IS possible.

“No one believes in me… I don’t, either.” – Well, you know what? I believe in you.

It’s okay to be not perfect. No one is perfect. What matters is staying true to yourself. And remember this – we will bleed, we will cry,we will break down and be torn apart at the seams. We will have dreams broken,goals unachieved and pain received. But we will overcome them – the brokenness,the emptiness and the problems, because – with every scar, with every battle,remember these four words, “They make me, me.”

P.S: This is a note originally posted on Facebook that I decided to share here.

P.P.S: Feel free to share this 🙂