On Emotional Music

Listening to: “Warmth Is Gone” – Fire Emblem Fates

Sometimes, people ask me why I like emotional music – sad music, in particular.

I look at them, and ask, “Why not?”

Emotional music reminds me of my mortality.

That everyday isn’t to be taken for granted. That it’s okay to cry and break down, because sometimes it WILL happen. That emotions will overwhelm you and you can’t control it.

That life, sometimes, will hit you in the heart and you WILL cry. You WILL break down in tears.

But it’s okay.

You’re human. I’m human. So’s everyone.

I think sad music evokes a sense of heaviness that makes us think, makes us contemplate.

It reminds us to feel.

Reminds us that we aren’t invincible.

So stay humble.

Stay connected.

Don’t lose your heart.

Poetry: A Touch of Reminiscence

Curled up under the covers, lost in thought

A blue orchid lay beside her, alone and desolate

Seven words reverberate through her mind – vivid and loud:

‘Dear Mom, are you happy in Heaven?‘

How she misses her, her scent and her warmth

The sound of her laughter, the scent of her cooking

Permeating throughout the house, ever so welcoming

The sound of utensils clinking in the kitchen, ever familiar

But, oh, how she knows – how she knows

That her mother loves her so

She hadn’t before, but now she did

As she looked down at the pendant of the amaryllis

signifying the three words of worth beyond beauty

A soft smile then tugs at her lips

And she hopes that her mother is happy wherever she is

As she would forever be with her in

both the heart and spirit.

Another Case

Source: in5d.com

“My worth is but nothing – thus I choose this road, for my freedom and for me.

Call me a coward, if you will, but to me?

What lies before me is pure and utter freedom from the chains I was bound by

Free from all the pain, the suffering and lies.”

Recently, someone committed suicide in my university yesterday.

Several have commented about the case, but after seeing a few mentioning that the institution could have done more about it and things like “Should have just asked for help”, I felt like I had to say something, at least.

It isn’t that easy.

While it is true that the university as well as similar institutions provide counselling services and such, it is not just about having the aforementioned services. It’s more about whether the student suffering from such issues have the courage to actually approach them.

To those suffering from such issues, taking the step to approach them is like Mount Everest. They don’t want to be weak, don’t dare to be. They fear. They’re scared. They might be having a lot of things on their mind.

Maybe they’re overthinking it, you think. Approaching for help is easy, you say. But you don’t know what goes in their mind.

Imagine having those little voices, saying that you aren’t good enough, life isn’t worth it – messages like that by the dozens and living with it for, possibly, a long period of time. What and how they think – we do not know.

Institutions can only do so much.

It is up to the people who have them to take the first step, to reach out.

‘Balancing on a beam high up on the cliff,
Two paths lie before me, open and waylaid,
Which should I choose? Which should I take?
I know I should live, but I am afraid.’

Poetry: Breathe

So it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here, but that’s what happens when life gets in the way. I had to deal with the sudden passing of one of my grandparents….which led to life just taking over and the beginning of studies again. Here’s a slice of poetry – attempting to describe all that I’ve been feeling.

Title: Breathe

Bring me far away from reality
Nightmares I don’t want to dream
Shadows creeping ’round the heart
Gripping like a vice, making me jump-start

I don’t want this fear to be around
Cause it’s making me paranoid ’bout all sounds
Restlessness relentlessly overwhelms
I can’t escape – it’s like I’m in some kind of Hell

I try my best to seek more dreams
To avoid the pain and suffering
But these four walls are closing in on me
And I can’t bring myself to breathe.